Letters to Daddy.
I never got to say goodbye to any of my family who have passed except for a couple of my pets 3: I held my kitty kerry midnight until she passed away last year. She was about 15, I believe. It was horrible to see her in this state. She was falling over, and couldn’t keep her balance for even a second. My mom and I wrapped her up all cozy in her favorite blanket (with the Grinch character on the front) and told her stories & sang her little songs (about when she was a little kitty and the memories we shared with her) the whole time. It was so hard because she knew it was her time to go and all she could do was lay there, helpless with no way of communicating her pain. Sight goes first i believe when you’re passing, so i was just talking quietly to her for two hours while silently crying my heart out, but in a way where it made a peaceful environment for her. She wasn’t scared to leave. After a long night of cuddling with Kerry Midnight, her breathing started to slow down and she just let go out of my hands. She passed away right in my arms :c
I wish I would of had the same chance to say goodbye to the rest of my family. Especially my daddy, John, who passed away May 29, 2009. His memories will always be with me, but it’s just so hard going day by day without him. The way he passed was unexpected and was an accidental death. I was in eighth grade (I’m not in 11th.) All I remember was the morning of May 29th, on my last ever car ride to school with him, we were singing songs in the car and having a good time. He dropped me off at the front entrance to Oakview Middle School and I forgot my backpack in the back seat. He was teasing me and said “Don’t forget your bag Jacqueline!” I don’t remember if we exchanged “I love you’s” or not (most likely we did, as it was kind of a daily routine) and I watched him pull out of the driveway of my middle school. And that was the last time I would ever get the chance to talk to him. I feel like I could of done something - like if I were to delay things for 5 minutes, this accident wouldn’t of happened to him. If I would of remembered my bag and saved him sometime, something could have made a turn of events and he would of still been alive. I feel helpless to be honest. I came home from school (my mom drove me home that day), and was getting ready for one of my best friend Brittany’s going away parties because she was moving to Illinois. When my mom and I first got out of the car, she yelled for my Dad because he had been working outside all day. He was practically deaf, since hearing loss ran on his side of the family and my mom just thought he was in the backyard. I go inside my house, upstairs and into my bedroom where awaited a fairly new loft bed my dad and I had busted our backs working on together. I grabbed Brittany’s present that I had made her (A picture frame with a couple of lovely photos we had from throughout the school year together) and tried to unscrew the back of it to place a note inside. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t open it. I took the job to my mom and with no luck, went back upstairs to my bedroom to find some alternative ways of wrapping the present. About 5 minutes later, I heard a terrible scream from outside the house. First, I thought one of my pets got out the front door and might have got hit by a car (living on a main road is not too easy tbh.) Then I looked around, all of my animals were fine, I ran outside after I heard more screaming and crying to find my mom at the side of our house. I couldn’t really see what was happening so I yelled “What’s wrong mom? Is everything okay?” but she yelled “YOUR DADDY’S DEAD.” I was in so much shock, I couldn’t believe it. But I saw him, laying there at the side of my house with a ladder on top of him. His foot was caught on one of the rungs of the ladder. His face was purple and all. My neighbor from across the street who is a firefighter, came when he heard the screaming, luckily. But it was too late. After more ambulances came, and tried to revive him, they told us the bad news that he was gone. 3: We guessed he must have been trimming tree branches and lost his balance on top of the ladder. The metal ladder was right near the power lines next to my house and he got electrocuted. We had an inspector come out, which showed us how low DTE had the power lines and how the voltage was set to much higher than it should have been. If DTE would of kept everything in order and up to date, the medical examiner said that my daddy might of had a chance to live the rest of his life. 3: I was a wreck over my first two years of high school, not knowing what to do with myself. I had been very depressed and hurt. I have to live in the house that my dad built & where he passed right outside. Just starting high school alone was tough enough, covering up everyday with a smile like everything was okay, especially with bullies and drama. Other tragic events happened over my first year of high school around the time my dad passed away like my great uncle passing away, Kerry Midnight dying, getting whiplash in a car accident, my mom passing out at a blood drive and having to stay in a hospital for a while, getting over a HUGE financial situation, and those were to just name a few. My mom tells me everyday that she loves me and how much she misses my Daddy. She also reminds me of all of the good times we shared and that things will be better if we keep him in our hearts. I feel like he’s with me everyday somehow, seeing how I am growing up like he could of if that day never happened. So I started to get an idea. What if I wrote letters to my dad as much as possible to let him know what it would of been like to see me grow up. I will be posting on here entry’s of events that I wish he could of taken place in my life time. <3
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